Prayer Sanctuary at Groby 26th October 2008

As we are nearing that time of the year with Hallowen and All Saints and All Souls Day it was nice to put together a prayer altar at the local church. The table you can see has both a physical and spiritual purpose. The Cross has an offering of marigolds that are used in Day of the Dead Altars in Mexico are used for both for decoration but also to guide and welcome the spirits of the beloved deceased back home to be near the living that fondly remember them. Candles to also help them find their way back. Salt to be used for purification and in most cases photos of the decreased and the food/drink they enjoyed.

Interesting note on death which is worth sharing.

The first death is when our bodies stop to function; when our hearts no longer beats of their own accord, when our gaze no longer has depth or weight, when the space we occupy slowly loses its meaning. Physical death.
The second death comes when the body is lowered into the ground, returned to mother earth, out of sight or cremated. Others recognise we are in fact Dead
The third death, the most definitive death, is when there is no one left alive to remember us." This is the ultimate social death.

Postscript: It was mum's 90th birthday this Nov 1st 2008. So when we made our visit to the family grave at the weekend, we took some marigolds and sang happy birthday. She must have had a sense of humour as during Saturday (1st) some of my wife's rings went missing only to turn up the next day in the most unusual of places. Thanks mum! I know you are there keeping an eye on things!

Behind time this week NLP 4th week

Okay it has been one of those busy weeks when even I get caught up with things.

As I said before expected a drop off from the NLP class which has not happened.

More tomorrow the light is running out at the end of the tunnel.

Well its now Monday and I have had time to reflect on last week's class. Felt it went very well, I had a good chance to air my feelings on several topics with members of class who responded very well.

NLP is all about commmunication and we were given an assignment to capture 'some event' and how we used our NLP skills to make the event become better for us.

Picked up several examples including using the VAK in the coaching sessions more actively than previous. Also from the NLP book I am using 'for dummies' I noted the word 'MISSION' which for one person I am coaching is more important that the common use of 'GOAL'. Words have power really they do.

Another example was the Get Fit for Life Programme I am involved with to keep in line with the purpose of this long distance course (well Loughborough College is across the Epinal way) which needs to have SMART (Specific, Measurable, Acceptable, Realistic, Timely) goals to be used in the training schdule. Also challenged a few people at work with comments like 'enjoy your weekend' to which one person replied 'oh yea'.

Found myself listening to relaxing light tempo music one minute and Classic radio the next. Keep the mix going.

Coaching the coach

Self Coaching not a new idea but thought I would share some interesting share some interesting websites I have come across incase you feel the need for a little inspiration and self reflection why you are on the planet pondering the 'big stuff'

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1. http://dontsweat.com/ go here to find out why its not necessary to sweat the small stuff and to treasure yourself. Also here at wiki quote a nice series of reflective thoughts http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Richard_Carlson

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2. http://www.jla.co.uk/conference-speakers/chris-moon Excellent and inspirational speaker and motivator have met the man in question at http://www.institute.nhs.uk/nhs_live/events/regional.html stroll down the page and listen to Chris Moon's video clip

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3.http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/barry_schwartz_on_the_paradox_of_choice.html The paradox of Choice and Happiness http://www.beyourownlifecoachnow.co.uk/
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4. http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/ which is great including 'what is your life-style quotient?'

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So how to make a day seem like a life time?

How do you forget to worry about the things that don't matter?

When do you want to move towards that dream life you promised yourself?

Remember you already have all the internal (unconscious) resources available to you.

Stop reading and start doing!!!!

NLP Third Week 8th October 2008

Where did that snow come from?


Okay I knew it would happen, we lose 2 people this week but the group dynamics seem to be holding up well. A bit of drama played out this week as we are paired up to talk about difficult work/relationship situations. NLP for me to make you look at the mirror and see what one is facing? No that doesn't work. NLP beliefs and how we are told and use them make a difference. Several people have been told they are useless, and been led to believe this their whole life. So get the unconscious bit working on the conscious. Think this is working as I am bit more self refelctive on the hoof so to speak. I tried to use these new skills in the work I do with those affected by cancer. As an illness Cancer is a hard one to NLP but I feel more confident to just let myself talk about the life that these people want (acceptance). I now say 'what do you want?' "Clean bill of health" says Morgan Freeman in the Bucket List. But for my clients its more a case of 'getting stable, enjoying a walk in the autumn sun or merely a glass of beer ' WITHOUT PAIN or any SYMPTOMS! Listening to my clients 'cancer stories' shows me we are all able to discover bits of ourselves that are hidden or not happy with. These people seem to need direction, focus and meaning. Sometimes we talk about God, and spirituality and how cancer is just a word not a sentence.
Returning to the 3rd week of NLP, the only real bit I got out of this week was to understand that I have more resources and abilities than I knew (watch out Peter Petrelli! from Heroes)

Fit for Life Programme and where are they now?

Where are these lads now??

Andy is in Oxford, me at Loughborough University and Graeme at Babcock???
All brilliant runners at some time in the last millenium - some real battles had in mud, rain, snow and on the mountains of the UK!

So decided last week with some cohersion to enrol on the Fit for Life programme at a local college to see what could be done to restore my health (mental and physical!). Distance learning course seemed fairly straight forward until I started on the stretching and strengthing exercises in the first pack of three. I remember years ago (okay before the last ice age!) I could easily perform 50 press ups, seemed 20 is my max now. Well there is always time to get back that 6 pack hard as nails stomach with some practice. Part of the first assessment is to undertake a structured 3 week exercise plan so thought I would blog it here. So far 3 runs achieved out of 4 for the week. each one idential course ran the first one on Monday 6th October in 31 mins. Then today Tuesday 7th October in 32 mins (now did the rain make a difference? Extra weight on the running gear?). Plan to run again tomorrow and also keep up some kind of stretching without the clicks I hear in my back. Long gone are those PB for 10miles of 57min and the bursting the 5min barrier for a mile. Nice and easy does it all the time now.

NLP 2nd Week 1st October 2008

Arrived at College to find the class was 16 again. I thought well no one dropped out yet. Not afraid of the unknown! This week we did a quick 5 minute mediation/relaxation technique (using our VAK senses) and then started off on the topic of anchoring. A kind of trance like of resourecful state if you ask me, a bit artifical but could help in some life situations when we feel 'low' or 'need a lift'. Plenty of web links so selected this one http://www.nlp-hypnosis.ws/nlp_anchoring.htm

Well most of the class demonstrated an anchor to the class, this required thinking of a key life moment 'state' that was great fo one. I choose the London Marathon in 1989 when I finished in 2 hours 46 mins, finishing in the top 5% of finishers. Although completely tired the moment I did my Personal Best Time was not only glorious but showed that endurance and hidden reserves were available on that day. A fleeting moment really and some people indicated as much. Peak experiences and positive ones don't seem to last for very long, they flow in and out rapidly. Whereas the negative ones stay with us longer. I reflected this anchoring was like what Chris Moon http://www.chrismoon.co.uk/ did the previous year at an NHS Live event at Warwick University where he asked me as a volunteer to show the power of having a foundation stone (anchor) when attempting a particular hard task and feeling 'positive' about it. This was achieved using my outstretched arm and putting all my 'positivity; into that arm and then Chris attempted to push it down. Impossible (mind over matter).
In the NLP class these thoughts crosed my mind as I was mentally preparing for my demonstration of my anchor. In the end I used the Marathon example as the way I would demonstrate to the class. I came into the centre and went 'yes' with arms uplifted and was clapped by class. Again it was like false applause but could be useful in some sitautions. Tutor asked us to minimise the gesture to a small one (like for example '2' fingers pointing upwards). Useful before a big event and need to draw on some past triumph. Need to see it in practice before I can say for certain it will help.

We next went onto developing rapport, mirroring and pacing a person. This is easy for me as I have altready done this in coacing environment. One interesting aspect was the 'pacing' part allowing one to shadow the person's tone/speech and then lead them. I will try this and see if its true.