Week 6 NLP 25th February 2009 Coaching Questions and States Meta States Developing the Hero in You – Conquer the no Confidence Trap

St Mary's Le Bow London 20th Feb 2009

Interesting week after the midterm break, 11 in class, and start by being asked if anything excited happen at all. I mention the Empowerment Workshop and the ZING factor and finding genuine peer-peer connections. Paired off to talk about own hero’s journey. Mine own experience of a real challenge was 10 years previously when I met my wife to be and had to make a life changing decision, to leave my job, home, country, culture, family behind for a challenging and enriching experience (being married, with a new daughter, country, culture and work environment). The whole episode in perspective was a unique and rare opportunity to test one’s resolve to undertake a major life transition without knowing the result. How I coped and managed seemed determined by my wife and her family that made the transition easier than I imagined. My time spent aboard was beneficial from many aspects (I learned to be Mexican – love music, dress style, cook fantastic meals, travel to see the ancient civilisations, understand real poverty, living and working in harmony as never before). I also published several professional papers afterwards and chapters in a local health care book (good result), and had a strong knowledge of cultural diversity with overseas students and can empathise with them.

This leads onto one’s own intelligent purpose and I reminded of Steve Pavlina website

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/07/the-purpose-of-life/ which is quite illuminating.

Paired up with a 53 year lady Christian and worked through Hero's Journey. She was not that comfortable to startv with but soon opened up when we realsied we had similar background. A born again Christian and slightly more than I bargained for with Gospel quotes and thoughts. She thinks NLP and Christainity are good for each other.

Empowerment Psychology Workshop London South Bank 20th February 2009

Nobody expects the Mexican Robert Rankin

This was an excellent 3.5 hours for my CPD in Coaching/Mentoring. I felt more alive in the time I was with likeminded people than I can remember.

For the first time in ages I had the zing factor as I networked with diverse groups of professionals from within local government, councils, HEIs and professional bodies (BPS). At no time did I feel out of my depth and actively engaged with the tutor on many levels and actively participated in the workshop. It felt like a mental energy boast and thought afterwards where can I keep this feeling going? I came away with an excellent master class type text book on coaching and mentoring techniques, friends with similar thinking professionals and actively charged up with new horizons sweeping out in front of me.

Recommended a great book called Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking is a 2005 book by Malcolm Gladwell, The author describes his subject as "thin-slicing": that is our ability to gauge what is really important from a very narrow period of experience (perhaps just seconds).

In other words, spontaneous decisions are often as good as - or even better than -carefully planned and considered ones (as we have too much information overload).

See

http://www.gladwell.com/blink/index.html if interested.

NLP Week 5 Review and Build on 11th February 2009

Mexican Mug now you were not expecting that were you?

Reflection from NLP Session Week 5

Returned to class after missing last week, (11 this week) seems the first topic was about our timelines? I commented that I thought I was an eclectic one really, although I realise that there is really only ever NOW and the future and past are around us influencing in one way or another. I thought about this more carefully later as chronological time/date/year gives us meaning, but if we are allowing ourselves to run free (no work schedules for example) then time flows differently. No one can manage time it’s how we decide to be ‘in time’ at any ‘one time’ and whether others around us share the same time orientation? At work I am conscious of time/effort/result, and time in itself is working for/against me? Sometimes one way and then the other. However as I get older the sheer concept of time seems to be swimming out of control, like in the rapids and if not careful will be smashed on the rocks as I negotiate through hazards along the fast flowing stream of life.

This week we were asked in pairs to tell each other what we had learnt so far from ACTION FOR CHANGE. As I have NLP 1 in my toolkit it seems slightly unfair to have the advantage on my class colleague. However it was a good chance to actually put words into action and started to get into rapport and pace myself with P who seemed very easy to synchronise with. Probably the best 10min she had with someone asking and feeding back salient comments on her ‘life’ experience. Found that I was really in coaching and mentoring mode for the duration but listened, saw and felt different parts of P’s life story and managed to get to areas of self-esteem and confidence worries as the skeletons in the cupboard so to speak. Tried to get at the happy and peak points in her life that was rather hard until she said I lived in Cyprus and speaks Greek which to me were great plus points to have in your backpack to use on the move through one’s life’s journey (Psychology + care of children = child Psychologist). I said I can guide (mentor) and support this process (coach).

Major point again is OUTCOMES and WHAT WE WANT? Notice WHEN WE ARE GETTING IT? Also to focus on CHANGE UNTIL WE GET IT, use FLEXIBILITY, ALL 5 SENSES, and RAPPORT (Walk in their shoes), and TAKE ACTION or NOTHING CHANGES. I keep coming back to my personal NLP triangle which is get rid of SLB (self Limiting Beliefs those ‘can’t’ statements) and act with RESPONS-ABLE (get empowered), and become SELF AWARE of the situation and one’s own reaction to it.

Finally pairing with L and looking at how we use time and how others around us use there’s’ Interesting as L has been working as a teaching assistant 3 days a week but wants to do so much on her other 4 days off. Her H has been forced to retire early through ill health, and she is full of energy but H is unable to do as much as she wants. L is frustrated but understands limitations (aware) and has to decide what it is she wants to achieve, has a great story of confrontation of White Van Man and showing her assertiveness!

Week 4 NLP 4the February 2009 Getting familiar with your timeline

Pasage to India after receiving my Cancer Support Certificate 2nd November 2007

Although I missed this session I was keen to get the info sent by email to me.

I am very interested in this area so what do I think about the 'timeline?'

The Timeline is a way of exploring challenging situations and life opportunities from different perspectives of time. It can be easier to come up with a plan to meet a challenge or opportunity from a perspective in the future when it has already been solved. It can be easier to resolve an issue which happened in the past from the perspective of going back to that particular time.

The Timeline can be done in many ways including visually, auditory and kinaesthetically. Different people tend to have a preference for using a particular sense I believe.

I recently wanted to travel back to write a history of my working career at my University I managed to see myself back to 1988 when I entered the dept te first time and then travel to specific points in the timeline to review what i was thinking and doing. Little by little I put together the Continued Professional Development (CPD) route I have travelled. For some reason this CPD* (* I prefer Continued Personal Development) has been so important to where I am now and where I am going. As I have the opportunity daily to make new choices I like to review where I was say in 2005 and how the time line has changed or been modified as a result of a particular action plan or not as the case may be. NOW I think everyday should be a great chance to plan a successful strategy in how my CPD is going to take me and how the past has contributed to the present but how the future can change depending on the route I take.

Some inteesting websites http://www.timelinetherapy.net/ with Tad James the founder of this type of NLP work

http://www.nlpcoaching.com/whattlt.html Sister website of above

Reflecting back a little the timeline idea is quite like regressing back with a therapist and in doing so one has the conscious control under guidance to get rid of SLB (self limiting beliefs)

5th Feb 2009 More snow pics

Ashleigh Drive Loughborough 5th Feb 2009

4th Feb 2009 the view down the Drive

Local Traffic in Snowbound Groby 5th Feb 2009

4th Feb a day to remember

Today was annual leave but it was full of activity, the main one being attending old next door neighbour's funeral. Mr M was great man and well loved judging by the numbers that attended the Greek Orthodox Service and later Burial and reception at Wigston Stage. It shows how a stromg family and community come together in times of grief. I was touched by the show of strength that the M family received during the whole day. We arrived about 11.20am and the greeting from the widow, their children and grandchildren was gracious and sincere. There was a kitchen full of Serbian relatives and local people and the priest from Derby. Plum Brandy was given out, the son remarked 'they run their tractors on this stuff' and cold hams and cheeses adorn the table. We went outside as the Hearse drew up. The priest and family stood round the coffin and prayers were said, it was very touching the son in law held a personal wooden cross and the atmosphere was one that could easily have been in a small tight village community.

The bus with at least 50 people took us to Aylestone Road to the Greek church which was once CofE but now adorned with elaborate Iconic images and reliefs. The service was one of many prayers and replies from the packed congregation. The last part was passing and kissing a small silver cross on the coffin and greeting again the whole family with affection and respect. I believe 150 people were in attendance. The next stage was a burial in Gilroes and this was very sombre with the Son giving a final farewell speech that was met with lit candles and throwing a piece of dirt into the place where the coffin lay. Then onto the table of plum brandy, bread and special pulses dish that everyone tasted a spoonful from.

The reception was more in keeping with celebration of M's life and tope table of the family with 14 other tables and a wonderful array of Serbian food was laid out before us. We first had to wash our hands and again greet the family before the priest said grace and the meal started. Spoke with different parts of the extended family seems having many relatives and connected to the old homeland very important to Serbians.

3rd February 2009 More snow pics

Business School

Rutland Hall and Fountain

My building and the squirrels?

Well LU is all about Runners I guess

View from admin 2

Hazelrigg Hall of Residence 3rd Feb 2009

Snowing at LU on 2nd Feb 2009

Just like Christmas eh? EHB to Admin 2 3pm


View from 4th Floor Office window 10am


Looking towards Towers from Brockington 10am

The view from Brockington 10.20am

The view from EHB hill near Manzoni 10.25am

Myself with the Sentinels 10.30am

Just to let you know we do get snow in the UK and this is LU on the 2nd February 2009, apparently worse is to come later.

Ran at lunch time was not that bad on the main routes but side roads all have plenty of snow up to 3" I guess.

By 3.30pm its still snowing the most snow I have seen since 1990!!