Another Funeral and what happened

Well I think I have over done my share of seeing people I know leaving this mortal coil in 2008. The last three months has seen three people I know die of oesphagous cancer. The latest person was a client through my befriending care work for a local cancer charity. Over the last four years I have had a number of clients who lives have been affected by this illness. Somtimes its the difficult acceptance of a person passing away and the coming to terms with their new life as a 'I' rather than a 'we'. Sometimes the cancer is treatable and the person realises that life goes on, and they reassess what they want to do with their life. Sometimes its the end game and that is so hard to know what to say and do. Accept be honest and go with your inner feelings. Harder still when no family support seems in evidence. However, finding the right words is not the point, engaging with ther person and acting as normal as possible is a way forward. I found myself asking for this person's last wishes and then thought I am not sure where this is leading...however it was a reasurring moment and the person readily opened up and I digested the whole story without need for pen and paper, it was going to stick in my mind forever and at least I told the estranged member of the family. So I attended another funeral, feeling that I granted part of the person's final wishes and hoped he would be given God's grace in passing.

Santa has arrived 5th December 2008

Well hello Boys and Girls, I never expected the Santa effect to take me over so much.

Nice job and the holidays are great too.

Can you tell me where this was?

I had two helpers, both elves who were excellent in their roles.

Most interesting question? I want Pink Lego for Christmas?

Awkward question? None that I could handle!

Summary. would I do it again, definitely if I can have my own talk show!

Oh yes and my other names are:

Belgium Pere Noel
Brazil Papai Noel
Chile Viejo Pascuero (“Old Man Christmas”)
China Dun Che Lao Ren (“Christmas Old Man”)
Netherlands Kerstman
Finland Joulupukki
France Pere Noel
Germany Weihnachtsmann (“Christmas Man”)
Hawaii Kanakaloka
Hungary Mikulas (St. Nicholas)
Italy Babbo Natale
Japan Hoteiosho (a god or priest who bears gifts)
Norway Julenissen (“Christmas gnome”)
Poland Swiety Mikolaj (St. Nicholas)
Russia Ded Moroz (“Grandfather Frost”)
Sweden Jultomten (“Christmas brownie”)
United Kingdom Father Christmas

NLP 10th Week 3rd December

The last week of NLP the Difference that makes the Difference.

Just the nine of us again, and we started with a piece of relaxing music and imagine whatever came into our head with the theme grateful? I thought it meant that what we had learnt to do better since we started? I said I had learnt how to be more empathic and focused on my clients’ needs and develop a more enquiring mind. I am grateful in many ways to have good health when I know others are not as blessed. This is apparent in my voluntary work with palliative care and those affected by cancer. I mentioned my last client who recently passed away was estranged from his brothers with no other family and seems to have no one to give him emotional support; I became that crucial support when he needed it. I challenged my client to discuss what his last dying requests were and he was able to tell me very precisely what he would like to have sorted for his final farewell. I felt very privileged about this as for a person to disclose this type of important request to someone who was not family was I think unusual or is it? How many people have discussed with their nearest and dearest this rather taboo subject? I certainly think and have plans that are already in the pipeline on this matter after many people saying ‘I would have felt better if I knew what they would have wanted?’

How much has changed over the ten weeks was summarised in a class exercise in two groups. We imagined we were in a lift with someone and they asked us in 30secs to describe what NLP was about? Interesting thought now let me see.

“NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic-Programming. NLP uses techniques from many disciplines (psychology, counselling, coaching) but overall challenges one to understand the mechanisms by which we behave and think. There are some basic underlying principles to follow that sound like common sense or words of wisdom like use all your available senses (VAK plus smell and taste), challenge people’s statements with Meta theory (deletions, generalisations and distortions) and use plenty of NVC (mirror, pace) to gain rapport/intimacy. Finally set goals that are outside your comfort zone and learn new skills you would pay to be able to do.”

Final thoughts?

So we have had our feedback to the assignment given us and certificates handed out on this final session amongst the nibbles people had brought too. The clear message was are we going to keep the changes going or are we just going to slip back into our comfort zone? Are we going to go on to the next level or decide whether NLP just didn’t make the difference we thought?

I have seen some good statements too like:-

“Unleashing your excellence” and “helping people to develop” are just two quotes from the many around NLP and in fact coaching. It is emphasised that we spend too much time wasted and not use our potential properly.

Lost time is lost life opportunity/productively.

So what would the next chapter in our book look like? A cue to think and plan the next stage?

Imagine a future YOU and the one you are at the moment? That is imaginative and thought provoking. I spoke with a class member and we discussed the next part of our Personal Development Plan and we both agreed having the course behind us is like being in a ‘mental gym’ work out. The NLP has stimulated the mind, mobilised the body and fed the soul. I am now up a gear and raring to go!!!

Stress Management Part 2 of Fit for LIfe Course cont

Well I am nearly 70% through the Stress Management Module and it is proving very informative about the way one works a good balance between performance and stress arousal. Found some useful hints for getting the combination right.

1. Plan tasks well in advance. That includes getting up 10min early to leave the house before the traffic gets too bad, or delays you, stresses you!

2. Plan biggest hardest task first. If you can't complete it then decide who can help/assist you.

3. have regular rest/comfort breaks if possible 10-15mins in the morning and afternoon. I have made a point of having something I need to do elsewhere outside the dept (feedback forms, old toners to recycle) each day. Also remember to have a smile on your face it works wonders (reduces stress). Having a good sense of humour also reduces stress!!

4. Daily exercise part of the stress busting plan too. That is easy I run most days but now let my imagination and wonder of nature take centre fold not the workplace.

5. Evening time, no problems with traffic delays, just use classical music or relax the frustration one feels when delayed, slow the pace forget it. Don't sweat the small stuff.

6. Work timely and efficiently. If a task is done it is done, don't try to improve on it. Only check emails every hour and reply to the emails that are work once an hour. Create a good work practice structure 9and delegate when you its needed not try and fix everything!).