Dying the Hard Bit - 10th November 2008

The last few weeks have been quite challenging for some people around me. I was told through the grapevine a gentleman I knew on the Macmillan Cancer Support Course had passed away after a fight with Oesophagus cancer. He was only 61 and the last few months he knew that chemotherapy was not longer viable. At work we lost a member of staff (aged 58) through cancer and the send off for her was huge and really emotional for many. Although the death was expected the sudden demise of her affected people around the department where I work. Some staff actually talked about their own funeral preparations afterwards (one quoted 'always look on the bight side of life' story from Monty Python). Then without even time to think a heart attack took a guy we knew down the road at 61 years old and in good health it seemed a cruel blow to the family. The whole process brought me back to mum who died in 1993 and just passed her 90th birthday (1st Nov how poignant is that - all saints day, day of dead) which reminded me that time doesn't bury the person, or dismiss them from the subconscious either. Dealing with those around me at the end of their life is a real privilege and far from being scared of the person dying on you or being emotional affected a deep sense of being close to God and knowing one's own value with the person, being in touch with their mind/body/soul is a rewarding and humbling experience. As I work within both those with stable and less stable conditions the value of 'time' can not be stressed enough. In the end time will catch up with us all, and how we use our time is down to what we feel is important, essential and meaningful.

PS Attended a Humanistic Funeral on 18th Nov at Loughborough Cremantorium which was quite different to a Religious send off. A chance to understand a different way of saying good bye without the concerns of whether a person was spiritually led or not. I found the tributes warm and sincere but it lacked the real emotional affect of a CofE service. L had the morals without the religion. Reflected that I must get my own funeral service sorted as it better to know what one would like rather than what was assumed.